Kat

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Saturday, September 16, 2006

I've Moved!

I know. I have not posted updates for a while now. But this is my last post here as I have decided to transfer to another blog! It's still with blogger but the improved one. But I won't delete this blog, of course. It stays but this will be my last entry. I don't know why I suddenly decided to transfer.. I guess I just needed a new blog environment.

Here's the link to my new blog. See you there!

posted by Kat at 10:34 PM 0 comment(s)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

"M" is for Miserable

You see my header quote above? It says "Attack life. It's gonna kill you anyway."

Well, the reason i put it up there is so everytime i visit my blog, i'd be reminded of what it says. to attack life. to sieze it. to live by the moment. before, i thought it might motivate me because to attack life is something that i needed to do. fast. but lately, i've realized it's gonna be harder than i thought.

I do agree with the quote but I used it as my header not because i am applying it in real life, but instead, it's because i'm not.

each day i feel like time is running out for me. as if i'm looking at a giant hourglass, each second its content flows down its narrow curve, i can compare with every day of my life. No turning back. No time to do things as they should be.

You can easily tell, probably, just by the entries i post, that i have not exactly been a happy person. now that i have thought of it, i don't think i've posted anything before that could prove that i have a happy life. Not that i'm ungrateful, no. I just feel that at this age, i should have experienced more of life as my friends already have. and no, i'm not that young. early twenties but hey, compared to others my age? i feel like a five-year old.

That's why i don't have a lot interesting posts in my blog. and lately, aside from these entries, i really don't have anything else to share. everything is a ritual. nothing much to share.

and often, i can't help but envy other bloggers (who are also friends of mine, in person). Jaleesa, who is living a simple and happy life in melbourne, zee, with her exciting visits to places with her friends and family, jaja's fun stories of her love for DVD's and movies, as well as random stories about anything. and jill, for being outspoken and cool, laryuki.. even though he curses a lot in his blog, he often does have a point. Well, these are just based on how i perceive them through the entries i read in their blogs but i guess, somehow, those posts reflect something about the writer.. so nevertheless, i envy them.

I can't say that i am happy.. not yet. miserable maybe. i just don't show much of it.

posted by Kat at 9:43 PM 9 comment(s)

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Sweldo Talk

You know what pisses off me right now? I just visited my batchmates' forum and i read all these posts from most of my batchmates ranting about updates with their jobs and their lives.. but it also just happens that i'm in a really bad mood right now (as i write this) that i cannot help but think.. "hey, could anyone please not talk about who's got the highest salary and who should libre who?!?" i mean, please! And it's not news to to them that what i'm earning couldn't even cover half of their pay so i don't make any comments regarding this. i just read their posts.

And so they all say who should treat who out 'cause he's got a big sweldo.. stuff like that. At first, this was fun to listen and read but then it now seems like the topic comes up over and over and over again as if the conversation is going in circles, and it has become quite irritating. Even worse, while one keeps saying that Mr. This and That is earning a big sweldo, and Mr. This and That says "nah, it's not me. I think it's you who has the bigger sweldo.." -- you know. pa-humble effect (crap). And if i might say this... "As if nobody earns a lower salary than you.. As if naman ikaw ang may pinaka-mababang sahod sa batch nyo."

I know that when you say you're earning, like.. 25k a month, doesn't always mean you get clean 25k. Of course there are deductions. So 25k could mean just 20k or 18k. But nonetheless, I'm sick of sweldo talk. I also know that a lot of guys are paid a lot more than i am and a lot more also paid less than i am but i don't go talking about it over and over again. Once or twice is enough. Just for the sake of FYI, and if the conversation requires of you to say it.. if you know what i mean.

posted by Kat at 9:25 PM 6 comment(s)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Father's Day Shit

Of course, wala nang ibang nagpabadtrip ng father's day kundi mismong si papa rin. actually, i could care less about father's day. I never see such day as important as mother's day..ever. and if you're guessing that i love my mother more than my father, you are right. In fact, i love my mom way more than my dad. and today? he just proved even more that he doesn't deserve any special greeting, thought or whatsoever.

I'm too upset to tell what happened today because i don't want to talk about it. You may think i am writing all these just because i'm upset but hell no. After i have recovered from this, how i see him as a person will never ever change. and you might think i am too ungrateful for him, believe me. you were in my shoes, if you've lived with him all these years, if you've seen how awful his character is.. you'll understand why i'm saying all these.

Nothing has changed. I would much prefer not to have a father at all than have one such as him.

posted by Kat at 10:03 PM 4 comment(s)

Monday, May 29, 2006

Bachelor No. 2

Sobrang justice ang visit ko kanina sa salon. nagpa-haircut kasi ako at masyadong mahaba na ang hair ko.. ayun, so chika-chika galore with the salon lady nang biglang pasok sa eksena si cute guy. actually wala naman talagang big event na nangyari. habang nag-aantay sya dahil sya sunod sa'kin magpagupit, nagbabasa sya ng magazine at ako naman, halatang hindi pinapahalata na ninanakawan ko ng tingin yung guy. mukhang magkakilala sila ni salon lady pero di nya na mention yung name nya kaya no clue pa rin ako in the names department. pero sa tingin ko ay minor yun.. pero hindi naman masyadong minor siguro.. kaya lang di na bago sa'kin kasi nuon pa eh cradle-snatcher na naman ako. ilang taon naman siguro sya this time?

Pasado sa lahat ng requirements pagdating sa physical appearance. oo naman syempre always considered yung ugali pero unang tingin ko pa lang, masasabi kong pang top 3 sya. nyaks!

hay, if i know, taken na yun.. sayang nga lang at baka hindi na magmeet ang landas namin. pero sana pwede syang bachelor number 2. meron na din kasing bachelor number 1, si chinito guy from work. in fact, pareho naman silang chinito at for sure ay pareho din silang minor. ano ba yan!? feeling ko tuloy ako yung cradle-snatcher of the year.

Anyway, baka balikan ko yung salon lady mamaya at tanungin ko yung name. I'm sure alam nya.. hmm. pero let's say makuha ko yung name. ano na ngayon? wala pa rin. dead end. as if magkikita pa kami ulit (please please Lord sana naman po!).. pero kung yung next time na yun makikita ko sya na kasama yung gf nya (kung meron man), di bale nalang. pero sabi nila kahit titulo ng lupa pwedeng agawin, yung bf pa kaya??! naku naman, tempting pero hindi ko naman na-imagine ang sarili ko na mang-aagaw. depende na siguro yun, kung sinadya ng tadhana na magmeet kami para ma-realize nila na hindi sila para sa isa't-isa! toink! tama na ang drama!

step 1 na muna ako: alamin ang pangalan ni boylet.

posted by Kat at 2:14 PM 3 comment(s)

Friday, May 19, 2006

kwento lang

Pagdating ko sa bahay kanina:

Me: ".. malapit na sa everest ang pinoy!"
Mama: ".. nakarating na nga eh.. kaw talaga, palaging huli sa balita."
Me: "ay? so ano sabi sa balita?"
Mama: "ayun, tinanong sila kung ano itsura ng tuktok ng everest. parang maliit lang na "lupa", syempre maliit lang, tuktok yun eh diba?

Napag-isip tuloy ako. Ano kaya ang feeling ng ganun? i mean yung nasa pinakamataas ka na lugar sa mundo.. masasabi ko kayang "pwede na akong mamatay"? siguro nga, pagbaba eh mamamatay ka na sa ginaw at pagod. pero sabihin na natin na ganun nga, narating mo ang everest, ano'ng sasabihin mo sa mga kaibigan mo? sayang din naman kung narating mo ang tuktok tapos on the way down, di na kaya ng powers mo at bigla kang ma-chugi o nagka-frostbite o whatever. madami na rin akong napanood na movie about climbing the highest peak on earth. oh well, kanya-kanyang passion lang yan. hay ewan, parang walang direksyon itong post ko. basta, just wondering.. masyadong magulo ang isip ko, halos araw araw na lang.

bakit? dahil sa trabaho. hindi ko alam kung sobrang hindi lang ako makuntento o talagang inaapi na ako (kami) sa trabaho. well, hindi naman as in sobrang grabe to d max na pang-aapi. tambak na tambak lang naman ang trabaho namin at parang ayaw pa nilang magdag-dag ng bagong tao sa department namin. juskoday, multitasking na nga kaming lahat, panay OT ko araw-araw, paarang kulang pa rin. wala naman akong planong patayin ang sarili ko para sa trabaho ko ngayon kaya 12 hours max lang pwede kong ibigay.. minsa 13 hours pa. hindi ko ma-afford na umabsent dahil dodoble ang tambak ng gagawin ko sa susunod na araw na pumasok ako. feeling ko kasing losyang ko na yung girl na nasa komersyal ng stresstabs. (uminom kaya ako ng stresstabs?? effective ba yun? parang sa komersyal lang effective eh)... anyway, tapos six days pa work namin. kapag may holiday, pinapa-OT kami dahil madami naka-due o overdue na articles. lintek na articles yan. parang gusto ko nang sunugin yung mga papel sa office para wala na kaming gagawin. at kanina, sobrang tuwa ko na nag-down yung network (lahat ng tao sa production nakasalalay ang trabaho dun kasi nandun yung files na nka-share sa lahat).. nag-email pa yung sys ad na "sorry for the inconvenience, will try our best bla bla bla".. sabi ko "if i know, tuwang-tuwa yung production na wlang network.." badtrip nga lang dahil after 20 minutes, balik na yung connection. akala ko pa naman buong gabi mawawalan ng network. hahay!

At dahil kulang sa tao, hindi maiwasan na di ko magampanan lahat ng responsibilities ko sa opisina. minsan, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, parang gusto ko na lang umupo sa isang tabi at tumunganga. di ko alam kung ano ang uunahin ko.. ang kukulit pa ng mga supervisor follow-up dito, follow-up doon. almost 1 year na ako sa kumpanyang ito at almost six months sa aming department. kapag nagpatuloy ang ganito, kung ako sa kanila, maghanap na sila ng papalit sa 'kin kasi di ko talaga kakayanin.

bakit may mga trabahong sobrang demanding?? hindi naman kataasan ang sinusweldo nila sa'kin? kapag regular daw, walang increase. parang yun lang, sa pangalan na lang na regular ka na pero no change. waz. nada. nil. ako lang ba ang ganito?? sobrang ungrateful ba ako?? madalas iniisip ko nalang na mas mabuti nalang ako compared to the other employees who are paid a lower salary. pero haller naman, teamlead daw ako at mas madami akong ginagawa pero sweldo ko ay pareho lang din sa kanila, pilit pa yung overtime araw-araw???? of course, mas malaki ng konti ang tinatanggap ko kapag payday pero kapalit naman nun ay walang tulog at pagod.. sumasakit ang likod ko sa kakaupo sa harap ng PC buong araw. kapag nagkasakit ako dahil dito, kulang pang pambayad ang kinikita ko sa kanila.

at isa pang badtrip. akala namin ay magkakaroon ng summer outing ang company. gagawa daw sila ng paraan na matuloy. tama nga hinala ko noon. malabong matuloy. bakit? dahil ayaw daw kami bigyan ng budget ng kumpanya. tama ba naman yun? akala ko ba ay concern din ng isang company ang kasiyahan ng empleyado? na despite all the work na ginagawa namin para sa kanila, makaranas din kami ng kahit isang araw na hindi iniisip ang deadlines at problema?? bakit! bakit, bakit????? naku, wag nalang nila itong sagutin. di bale nalang.

bukas, replay ulit ng ginagawa ko. walang pinagka-iba sa ibang araw. pasok sa office, uwi sa bahay para matulog, gising, pasok sa office, and so on and so forth. anong klaseng buhay 'to?? kailangan ko nang magbasa ng "A Purpose Driven Life." Baka may sagot dun sa mga tanong ko.

Nakaka-badtrip lang talaga. I'm doing my best naman pero dahil kulang sa tao, di lang talaga kaya.

Nga pala, na-discover ko kanina from another officemate na yung aking crush sa office ay 20 years old. hah! Hindi ako surprised dahil bata pa nga nman talga sa tingnan. sa bagay, cradle snatcher naman ako noon pa.. wala lang. as if naman may chance ako dun. may gf nga sya eh. tapos, yung mga iba kong ka-opisina, pinipilit na bagay daw kami nung isa kong kasamahan sa department. asus! showbiz naman ang mga ito. parang sabay lang naman kami mag-lunch ah. walang malisya yun! hehehe ;-)

yun lang. inis lang ako.. at napapagod na rin.

posted by Kat at 9:28 PM 2 comment(s)

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Happy Birthday, Mama

Maligayang kaarawan sa aking pinakamamahal na ina. I always thank the Lord for giving you to us and we will forever be grateful for all the things you do for us every waking day. I pray that God will give you many many more years to come and i hope He will grant us the chance to enjoy life to its fullest.. if not now, then someday.. But today is your day and so everything i ask is for you to be happy and safe from harm. I love you with all my heart and words are not enough to describe how grateful i am to be one of your children.

posted by Kat at 10:08 PM 3 comment(s)

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." ~Franklin P. Jones

PAGE AND BACKGROUND DESIGN BY KAT | LAST UPDATED 20 JUNE 2006